The Last Enchantment
Friday, April 06, 2007
Hasta La Vista Haiku
Early morning sun
I climb into my black car
And leave the country
On a distant beach
I gaze at the Atlantic
And invade your dreams
A thousand blue miles
A line drawn in damp white sand
Brings fresh perspective
I climb into my black car
And leave the country
On a distant beach
I gaze at the Atlantic
And invade your dreams
A thousand blue miles
A line drawn in damp white sand
Brings fresh perspective
posted by EL PADRONE at 4:35 am
6 Comments:
That's wicked cool, Merlin. I like how you stacked three together for an on-going theme.
The Atlantic is something, isn't it. Freaking treacherous. I almost lost my son to the Atlantic last year. Was the most frightening, adrenaline inducing experience of my life.
Shmoop,
Thank-you sweetie : it's my first attempt.
There was a discussion about "haiku" form on Eva Gale's blog a few days ago and I thought I'd see if I could figure it out.
As far as I can tell this conforms to the traditional 5-7-5 pattern.
I almost lost myself to the Atlantic when I was about 7.
Even now I'm still afraid of deep water. I think it's the only fear I have.
Have a good Easter : talk to you when I get back.
M xxx
Very lovely, M!
Thank-you Ann.
I was a poet many years ago. I can do much better than this (I think) but I needed that "haiku" debate to get me thinking.
I should start writing songs again too but - as I can't/don't perform myself as a rule - I need someone to write for.
I have someone in mind.
M.
Wow! You soo did that justice!
Eva,
Thank-you ; sincerely.
I'm so encouraged by these comments that I'll have to try some more but I promise I won't bore you all to death by churning out 5 a day.
Quality not quantity is the thing to work on I reckon.
And very late last night (in fact early this morning) I started picking out chords on the piano to see if I can find a melody for it.
Conclusion : 5-7-5 haiku and western chord progressions don't mix easily !
Smooches,
M.
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